She’s Not There

Doubleday Broadway

In the memoir, She’s Not There, Jennifer Finney Boylan reveals what it felt like to grow up as the wrong gender and his desire to be a woman. But before James (Jennifer’s former name) could articulate these feelings, he knew they were best kept private. Throughout the book, James desperately wants to become a woman, but his urge to be the man everyone else needs him to be is much stronger.

Jennifer shows the reader her life in short episodic instances, each one building on the other, from early childhood to college to the present. Personally, I felt James would never become Jennifer. He seemed so content with his life as a college professor and loving husband and father that it was as if his wish to be “cured by love” had already been granted. Then, as a faithful reminder that we can never run from our true selves, the urge to become the correct gender resurfaced.

I did find Jennifer’s constant reference to transexuality as a medical condition bordering on offensive. I doubt many transgender people would refer to what they go through or have gone through as a “condition.” Calling it a medical condition seems clinical, as if it is something to be cured. And, I know they are completely different, but would she classify homosexuality as a “condition?” I felt that by using this terminology, she was not taking pride in the new person she was becoming, but instead remedying her newfound self.

However, the book is almost completely flawless in the way it’s told, except for one section where I think it just completely falls off. After her transition, she writes a letter to NASA asking to be the first transsexual in space. When I read this letter, it seemed as if she was making a mockery of everything she had been through. She made herself into a gimmick, which doesn’t provide any substance to the plot and as a result, pulls you out of the story. The humor in the rest of the book was so effortless and subtle, that it made the letter/joke obviously forced.

Jennifer shows tremendous courage by not only becoming who she needed and wanted to be, but by giving anyone who wants to pick up this book an intimate window into her personal life. Any question I had in mind was always answered in due time. Anything I didn’t understand, she clarified. This book is a bold journey down the road of self-discovery. Reading this, I now realize how flexible our gender is as human beings. I also realized how much love could withstand. Her memoir doesn’t just speak to transgender people. There are universal themes running deep through the story that we all can connect with. It is a call to arms to all of us who are not being honest with ourselves.