Don’t Allow Conventional Wisdom to Kill Your Dreams

The word comfort conjures visions of hearty soups, fuzzy slippers, and comfy chairs that help us shut out the madness of the day, if only for a few moments. Things that make us feel completely content right where we are. But complacency can keep us stagnant, satisfied with our current quality of life, and ultimately, unwilling to take the risk necessary to make our dreams a reality.

Author, lawyer, and real estate broker, Tara-Nicholle Nelson, is a woman who has far exceeded what was expected of her. A single mother of two at the tender age of 17, not many would have expected her to finish her schooling. But Tara had other plans. She attended college and eventually became a lawyer. She recently let us in on those early dreams that kept her motivated to achieve her goals and tells us how she is now helping other women to achieve their dreams.

SM: What was the initial vision that kept you moving forward?

TN: Over time, I’ve had several, progressively more audacious dreams. When I was a teen mom, my dream was simply to achieve financial prosperity enough to provide well for my kids. When I was an attorney, my vision was a lifestyle and a business that was not just prosperous, but also fulfilling and flexible. Currently, my vision is to create more successful, profitable and thriving women property owners than any other entity ever has.

SM: What were some of the obstacles that could have prevented you from attaining your goals? Obviously, being a single mom was one of them.

TN: Reflecting back, the obstacles were many, but they didn’t seem prohibitive because I elected not to see them as obstacles, but as factors I needed to consider and account for while I was figuring out how to do the things I needed to do. First, I had two children by the time I was seventeen-years old, both of whom have challenging and time consuming special needs (Asperger’s syndrome and a learning disorder complex/glaucoma, respectively). As a very young woman, I married an emotionally abusive man, and mentally detaching from that relationship was a necessary step to accomplishing my vision. Additionally, there were definitely economic obstacles — finding the money to continue my education, finding the money to obtain quality childcare for the boys while I was in school, and finding the energy to work — sometimes two or three jobs at a time — and maintain a full-time course load. All these items were elements of my path to accomplishing my various visions.

One major obstacle to which I think many women can relate is the so-called “conventional wisdom.” When you are doing things that others view as improbable or impossible, or you begin shifting yourself and your life in defiance of others’ conception of you, you definitely encounter criticism, naysaying and pushback from others around you. I definitely did, but at the same time had enough incredible positive and inspirational individuals in my life.

SM: Tell us about some of the things you’ve been able to achieve by ignoring “conventional wisdom” and naysayers?

TN: I have two boys that are 14 and 15 years old, and I have consistently obtained for them the highest level of care and treatment for their special needs. I am confident that they will be successful and independent adults, as a result.

I hold a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree in Psychology, both of which I obtained by attending school full-time with no break, even though I had my youngest son during the Winter Holiday of my freshman year. I just came back to school two weeks later when school resumed.

I hold a Juris Doctorate degree from one of America ’s top law schools, the University of California , Berkeley School of Law (Boalt Hall).

SM: What are some of the lessons you’ve learned thus far on your journey?

TN: I’ve learned that if the people around you refuse to support you and your vision, that is most likely about them, and not you. Trade up — be laser beam-focused on your vision and you will literally attract people into your life that believe in what you are doing.

I’ve learned that the incredible business visionaries of our time — from Oprah to Larry Ellison — operate with the same 24 hours in a day that you and I have. Success then, must be about what we do during those 24 hours. This is a function of mindset, organization, and energy.

I’ve learned that it takes more than monetary ambitions to get me excited about my work. The day I realized that my calling was about creating change in other women’s lives was the day I tapped into an unlimited store of energy to do the million things I need to do every day.

I’ve learned that most people’s definition of “possible” is incredibly shortsighted. So, I live by my own definition of what is possible for my life, and by that score, I’m just starting to scratch the surface!

SM: All great lessons for those of us who might feel like we’re stuck in our current situation. Have you been able to help other women to find success by letting go of their fears and leaving the comfortable, the familiar?

TN: I have been blessed to be able to help dozens of women I know personally and many women I don’t know to be able to stop procrastinating and dreading the home buying process, to seize control of their own finances and their family’s future, and to buy homes (or investment properties) boldly and without fear.

SM: So, what words of wisdom would you pass on to anyone who might be stalled in their career or dreams?

TN: While it is important to learn and take in knowledge about your field, your customers, human nature in general, and a wide variety of things, knowledge is at its essence the “stuff” we think about. What is truly critical is not what we think about, but mindset — how we think about things. A positive, focused, and energetic mindset — one that seeks to solve and learn from every problem faced — is probably the single biggest element of success.

Tara-Nicholle Nelson, author of The Savvy Woman’s Homebuying Handbook: 150 Insiders Secrets, Decision Making Guides and Online Resources plus the One Action Plan You Need, is a Real Estate Broker and Founder and Chief Visionary of {Re}Think Real Estate. She has appeared on a variety of television and radio shows. Visit her online at http://www.rethinkrealestate.com.